If you are a follower of my blog I am sure you have notice the lack of recent activity. I apologize for my lack of entries. I could coward away and tell you that I have been extremely busy but the truth is I have been dealing with relationship issues. The reason I started writing this blog was to give others a safe place to discuss and read about issues we face in our twenties. Though it is important, the topic of relationships has not been discussed on this blog. Posting anything about relationships would shed light on the insecurities and uncertainties I was experiencing in my own personal relationships. I knew writing about this meant being upfront and honest about my own issues. Since my last postings I have taken the time to work through my own issues and survived the pitfalls that accompany these situations.
This post will be a series of thoughts and questions for you to ask yourself. Examine your current relationship or past relationships. I ask you to see the relationship as it is or was instead of the way you see or remember it. There are many factors that can contribute to relationship troubles. The following things could contribute to issues in a relationship or lead to a break-up.
1. Long distance: While taking a Social Psychology course we discussed why relationships form and what helps them continue. The number one reason was proximity. With that being said it is no wonder long distance takes a strain on a relationship.
Tips: Before entering into a long distance relationship ask yourself several questions. Do you need a significant other who can be involved directly in your life? Are you a great communicator? Do you have the time needed to support that person long distance and/or do they have the time to support you?
2. People change: Or you actually get to know the “real” person you are in a relationship with.
Tips: Make sure you take the opportunity to know someone before you jump into a relationship. Once you are in a relationship with someone continue to get to know him or her and take an interest in his or her daily life. On the flip side of that make sure you are honest about who you are.
3. The relationship is not defined: For some people labeling a relationship helps them to understand the relationship while others do not believe in labels. If this is the case the relationship could go undefined and will become confusing for both parties.
Tips: Open communication will help each party explain what they need out of the relationship. Even though it is awkward, it is important to have the “what are we” conversation. When having this conversation be open and understanding to the other person’s point of view.
4. Expectations for the relationship: To have a successful relationship each person needs to have common expectations for the relationship. Where will the relationship lead? What will each person bring to the relationship and what will each person need from the relationship?
Tips: Communicating about these expectations help clarify what each person needs and expects from the relationship.
5. Not willingly to make sacrifices: Some people are not willing to change their expectations to fit the other person’s expectations. In the case of a long distance relationship, someone may not be willing to move closer for the relationship.
Tips: Before going into the relationship know what the other person is willing to do and not willing to do. What are their main focuses? Are they career focused? Are they more focused on marriage? Or children?
Please post any other issues or tips you may have experienced in your own relationships.
