Nice People Finish Last

The other day my coworkers and I had a conversation about relationships.  The males in the group were mainly concerned with the concept that women do not like nice guys.  The females in the group answered back with, “Guys only date bitches.”  It seems as though there is a “disconnect” between these two concepts.  If both sexes believe the other is looking for a “bad” partner where does that leave us? 

I started thinking about this concept and mulling it around in my mind.  I dove into my past relationships to see if there was any truth in this concept.  What had I done in my own past to support or deny this claim?

First I had to define a few terms.  Of course when it comes to relationships there are always aspects that need defining.  What constitutes a “bad boy” or a “bitchy woman"?  Well definitely an abusive man would be considered “bad.”  Someone who abuses drugs?  I could see that falling under the category of “bad.”  A cheater?  Someone who lies?  A scrub?  Someone who is controlling?  A jealous man?  The list is racking up.

Let’s focus on the ladies.  Someone who is bitchy could possess qualities such as bossy, abusive, wants someone for money?  Someone who manipulates others to get what she wants?  Controlling?  Jealous?  Basically anyone who is on the show Bridezillas. 

When listing these qualities, they don’t sound appealing.  So what is the draw towards these people?  I personally don’t believe it has anything to do with whether a guy is a little bad or a girl is a little bitchy.  I believe it depends on emotionally availability.   Both sexes aren’t drawn to people who are too available.  They want a little mystery, someone a little withdrawn.  They want to work for it a bit.  The thrill of the chase.

We also can't forget about the gray areas.  People don't fall into either a bad or good category.  There are many places to go in between.  

What are other’s thoughts on this subject?